Frozen Emotions – The importance of experiencing negative emotions in overcoming emotional bunting?

For a human being, experiencing emotion should be a normal part of life. Everyone has a different experience of emotions, and some may feel more strongly than others. However, some of us can have temporary or long-term difficulty in feeling our full range of emotion.

This is not surprising. From a young age we are, effectively told not to feel negative emotions. “Don’t be sad”, “Don’t cry”, “Don’t be angry”, “Don’t be afraid” and so on… so much so that any perceived “negative” emotion is to be pushed down, suppressed, and avoided like the plague. So much so that, often, in later life, especially if suffering from trauma or depression, an individual can experience a numbing of all emotion.

A few months ago, a lady came to me searching for help. She was suffering from depression and emotional blunting, or frozen emotions due to past trauma and had been prescribed a long list of prescription drugs. Her problem, she said, was an inability to feel and, as a human being, she needed this.

As we started talking, I noticed her eyes. They were black and empty, there was just nothing there. Her responses were short, singular, and expressionless. To be honest the session looked to be long and quite arduous. Then we had a breakthrough. Recalling a distant memory at the beach with her children something miraculous happened. Her eyes suddenly came to light and her face completely changed – love had stimulated her senses and brought her back. She was alive and feeling again.

Although I am well aware that her journey is still long and much work is to be done, I was overjoyed to see this transformation. By stimulating senses, emotions can be stirred, even while taking prescribed medication.

Dr Willroth said that “No emotion is inherently bad or inappropriate,” and that negative feelings can even serve a purpose. “Anxiety, for example, can help you to face a potential threat, anger can help you stand up for yourself, and sadness can signal to other people that you need their social support.

It is also suggested that holding onto negative emotions causes a downward spiral which can prolong anger or grief and prevent us from enjoying life.

If you are suffering from frozen emotions, seek help. It might take some time for you to see the effects of treatment. Changing medication doses, starting a self-care program, or beginning talk therapy, for example, may help but won’t make emotional blunting disappear overnight. But it could be a start on the road to a fulfilling life.

In the meantime, as well as feeling happy, excited, exhilarated and content, try to allow yourself to be sad, to be angry, afraid and to feel fear. It can be said that negative emotions are as important for us to feel as positive, because they give us a reason to live, improve upon ourselves, experience growth, and find a meaningful purpose in life. Without negative emotions we are only living a half-life - and therefore, a lie.

Written by Tarma Bayliss
In house psychologist